Thursday, April 19, 2007

sum crap things

Whut will u do to sum1 that u really care?
do they care u like u care them or just take u for granted??
yeah..asking bout ur conditions..and etc,with beautiful and caring words...
seems like helping but actuAlly, not at all!!!...

Still sumtings is bugging me.though tried to ignore this stupid emotion thingy..huh..
After having laksa with dearest classmates..chatting wit em..Hahaha, i do gain sumting from it..i think from now, i should think like a man..yeah..ignored sumting that wouldn't give u any benefits,
hope..hehee, sumtims,x worth to hope something,work for it , but u x achieve it,..
2 days b-4 , coincidentally wore same color with sum1...including da watch..ayyark..hehe. having breakfast wit dis person and revising math together..kind of cute.muahaha
hrm..yeah..i think i'm in love wit sum1..i love the pathetic..miserable but totally cool..admire him so much..though he's kind of sacarstic person..Dr gregory H.i spent my time wit him 3 hours...watching his work wit his team..kind of theraphy to stabilize both of da souls in me..
Waiting for sumting..looks like...i wouldn't get it...perhaps i'm going to let jaemy control this system after dis..too tired with izyan..poor her..she's high for it but..she just failed..she's too soft hearted and too patience..oh yeah, too good untill u can step her down.
Jaemy, da cold one..heartless...hehehe, i think she should ruled dis system..she's stronger.
kind of pissed off today ..yeah, wit sum1..dis person doesn't know how to work...i think..sumtims i feel like i'm sumkind of 'kuli'..heh, thats y i hate izyan...too good to everyone

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Jaemy owns the HosT

160407..iman's b'day..wished her..
160407=da fight between two soulz might b at da peak.jaemy is winning, the other..seems to get weak
ahakz, suddenly, i'm blank, x more feelings...just a great force named tension torturing me..cried for help, nobody knows..hahaha, hoping for sum1 to rescue me..x there..hahaha
x more hope for izyan-u lose girl..jaemy said..
jaemy owns the host..she changed her a lot including her character,appearance, feelings and thought..academic mind seems to b blur..she's getting worried...exam is around da corner,yet, she just x feel the usual feelings..she's getting weird..wondering about herself and her life..she's lost in her own emotion,x even know who she is..lose control easily..though her friends tried to help her..
all she wants is her spirit back..she hates jaemy but she x resist her..she owns her.though her Dr. x help her.Dr just x understand her .she was totally disappointed.whut she did..played with her blade,act like a tough guy though she's actually vulnarable..act like nothings happens to her in front of her friend and roommates.she prayed to escape from jaemy .lookz like she just x...she slept in sadness, hopeless..

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Night watch from Kopitiam

Already 0258H,Still x sleep as i've sipped Coffee at kopitiam 3 hours ago.. Few more hours to go n i'll be back in Beringin Ville.
Hrm,Overall i x think dis holiday is productive coz lots of da plan weren't working..Plus, gran
dpa is getting sick suddenly..So worried bout him and granny to , her B.P is unstable, too high n too low...mum n dad were totally busy in both work and for me, fighting with my own self prob..between interest n reality hahaha..Jaemy and Izyan..

Coffee break with dad,uncle d,Aunt S,Bro Ayie n lil bro's at K.kopitiam..Kind of cool to view night life in da town sumtims.Watching Mat n Minah Rempit raced on the road with their Various of style such as ,whilly ,
wi-kang,superman n wateva it is..Police were there, but just watching..there were also people acting as a viewer of da illegal motor race (including me) Love to see them get crashed(OMG..i'm getting sadis)nauzubillah.. actually kind of 'marah' and disappointed wit em.. they risked their life and negative externalities- causing danger to the other road users like us..they gained attention in a wrong way..yeah Hang out wit sis Ily at KP n Truntum ..muahaha, surveying 4 N76..still x in da market.. Lil cousins were in their own world.As for the adults ..including me, worrying grandpa n granny so much.
.Sumtimes..i x be myself...i feel like i'm no me...i tend to b heartless,kind of emo..n sumtims fighting with my own feeling.yeah..battle between interest n reality..Jaemy vs izyan.totally different and even i tend to hate myself lately..Regret for sum wrong decision and action i'd done in past..Hurm..getting to miss my dearest badly..i've waited for her to contact me via or watever stuff..she did 0031H ,15.4.07.. almost 24 H..then off she go..sweet dream dearest..
homeworks..keep them in cerebrum..lalalala
already packed my things..ready to sleep..
ready to log off my brain into sleep mode

i'm grateful to hav 'em

Whut should i post this time?? P.O.V..story...thought..i x know.. Depends on da falanx to do it.

1 day, when i woke up..suddenly i x walk. my right leg was numb and i felt a major pain at my back, arg, i x walk or stand properly though i've tried .My dearest came to comfort.Lucky to have her by myside.I just rest on bed.That night, my son came and brought us(me n my dearest) to their home.Long journey,and the pain was still there.i wish it will dissappear a.s.a.p.
Next day, we went to hav an 'Urut' session.As he touched my back..i feel like wanna scream as the pain is getting worse.My son's getting panic as he noticed my reaction .We went to Specialist for an x-ray...right after i told them, i've fell several time last month.Result from x-ray, somthing wrong with my spine. Dr told us(my son,daughter and me) that i had Lumbar disc degenerative my disc was injured..n the spine position is abnormal.He gave me several choices to reduce the pain .1st, surgery, 2nd..neuro injection and last physiotheraphy.I choose the last.
I refused to tell my dearest bout my condition .She shouldn't know bout this.
From that day, my son and daughter take turn to bring me to physiotheraphy.They taught me how to deal with the pain.I wish i could be ok soon.Day after day, i'm getting worse, i have to walk with help from others or a cane or something firm as i x put the right leg on a tension.Only God knows the pain i'd suffer.I felt useless..couldn't do anything accept to sit and rest..i x even sleep well.
My dearest,and children including grandchild were too concern bout me.Some of em tried to find alternative medicines to reduce the pain, some find a better cane for me, my dearest, always give me support and b by myside, She wouldn't sleep untill i sleep.She shared the pain i've gained .She treated me well.i saw my daughter in law together with my grandchild, find solutions from internet..I'm grateful to hav them.

I knew that this pain is permanent though they x told me. I refused to get surgery as it will cost them a lot of cash.I act like i'm getting better.i took the pills overdosed..but the pain is worse when the effect of the pill was over..

One night, my daughter from Temerloh together with grandchild from KL came n visit me.I'm so touched and happy to see them. My eyes were watery..tried to keep em in but i x..i'm really touched and grateful to hav such a caring family. sorry for them for causing lots of trouble.They had to sacrifice their time for me.
My cough were getting worse too..especially during midnight, my son and his daughter accompanied me during night time, i prayed that this pain will be over soon .May God bless my family for the good they've done to me.Amen

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Mathz Day

Its a math day...working out for P1 and still , haven't finnish yet..argh..x achieved target...B patience..i can do math. i love u so much(physcoing myself)..btw, just received Aspire 3680, though it is a bit late..Thank God..Thank you Pa.Using adik's pic in da profile, hope he wouldn't get mad..hehehe, still working out wit dis new aspire3680..
i'm suck in driving today...the engines died 4 times..eew, mum, screamed like seeing a ghost watching me driving(park a car in porch) too fast..she shouted.,sorry mum.watching my dearest grandpa n grandma sleeping in da sofa..cute!
now..both of us have lappy on our laps..ngehehe,i bet , daddy's wastching sum clips from metacafe,
as for me...choosing a programme to b download
my dearest Dr was sick today, Hope he's getting well soon.
3 days to go..
n i'm back to da college life together with Polyethene...lalalala.kind of blurry day

Wednesday, April 11, 2007



whut come across ur mind when this word comes up??

chem? i'll think of my clique in college..

hehehe, its such exciting moment when we all r together,

begins with 6 of us..3 boys n 3 girls including me..

now..almost 9..whoaaa..n'joying each event in da college together..

it is good to have close friends..we can share the joy,pain n almost everything..but we do have to pick the right one..if x..

well...lucky me to hav them, each has their own credibility....

me, i'm x really into da gossip thing. it makes me bored sumtimes

i rather spend my time playing photoshop in my beloved dark room..

haa, kind of close wit izu n basir...yeah, both r my classmates..

for gurlz, nana n hajar, statemate.yaz n hazim n sean- physics time classmate.

i think that i'm da most mediocre in da group.need to work hard n tune my medical mind to sum technical thinker..its totally difficult..

though we're x in da same course..sum taking engineering, sum econs n sum , math.. we do cherish n spend da moment together..fav place .

band room, me n izu, hahaha, i wanna learn lots of thing from him. computing,math, music , 'sengal' stuffs n those technical thingy.we did many sengal things together, esp during technical time in any event we participate.

sumtims..i do share thought wit nana, i think she's da one who understand me most..thankz 4 ur advices for sum case dat i x resolved.

i'm happy to be with polyethene clique..though sum times i'm hurt from sum of em..huhu

Talk to myself

hurm...what should i say now...
right, i've wasted my precious time by sleeping, just to get rid of dis stupid stomach ache..i should have done my P1 at this time..but, its just in my dream...
i'm too lazy to do it..x mood..when there's changing in hormone, everything turns to boring..
i'm having scarcity rite now..yeah, my dream is unlimited but the reality showed the opposite..isk3
i'm jealous with sumone..thatz for sure
though i x admit it..but still, my heart is jealous...n my mind too..
sumtimes, i do feel like wanna change my personality...from such a nerd and good girl, to sum kind of independant people with colourful life..
i mean , doing things that i love to..(crazy things i mean)
whut if i'm a boy..whut if i'm a Dr..a pshyco...
but i'm just an ordinary person...hahaha
da result for my dearest grandPa..he has to suffer the stenosis for his lifetime, unless he go for surgery.but there is always a risk..4 days more to go n i'm back to my b-loved college..argh, with exam around da corner..
haven't well prepared..

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Dari kaca mata seorang cucu..

Well, i'm switching da language as my English is not very well..need to learn n practise more after this..

kay..this time , i think its a bit gramatist as suddenly, d idea is here..

Tatkala mata terbuka, kulihat dunia sudahpun terang dibasahi limpahan cahaya sang mentari,

Ibu sibuk menyiapkan adik2 ke sekolah, sedangkan diri ini masih bergelumang dengan kehangatan gebar.(kes malas)Ayah, kembara mencari nafkah..

atuk dan nenek, menikmati hidangan pagi sementara menanti kehadiran seseorang,

Sampai waktunya,atuk dibawa ke Hospital untuk menerima rawatan.Senyuman tawar atuk sudah cukup untuk menggambarkan betapa peritnya kesakitan yg dialami .Nenek kulihat menanti dengan penuh pengharapan, semoga atuk pulih dari kesakitan itu.kesuraman datang bertandang, kuajak nenek berbicara.Perihal atuk diceritakan..kini kumengerti isi hati seorang isteri...pilu tatkala suaminya bertarung dengan penyakit.

Kepulangan atuk disambut dengan wajah ceria.Atuk dipapah masuk , berehat di kerusi malas. gembira sungguh atuk di depan anak2nya.pabila tinggal kami bertiga, atuk berubah wajah..penuh kerutan menandakan kesakitan yg amat. pain killer dtelan, nenek membantu..

memapah atuk ke bilik air..tongkat seolah2 tidak membantu..selera atuk berkurang..risaunya ayah,ibu dan nenek bukan kepalang..menjelang malam...ku temani atuk di ruang tamu..atuk x boleh baring..katanya sakit, terpaksa tidur di sofa ..kasihan atuk, terbongkok2 sambil mengaduh sakit sewaktu dipapah ke bilik air.tidur pon ..tidur ayam...batuk atuk juga makin teruk , x tahan telinga mendengar..esoknya, atuk ke hospital lagi , ditemani anaknya yg bongsu..ibu saudara datang menjengah, tanda kasih dan bimbangnya akan atuk..atuk duduk,smbil melihat anak2 dan cucu dengan renungan yang penuh bermakna..atuk enggan jalani pembedahan, katanya, dia boleh tahan, dan kakinya akan baik x lama lagi, kami hanya diam..tahu, atuk sekadar mahu hiburkan hati kami..atuk2..

suatu petang , pakcik membelikan atuk tongkat baru, ibu pl membeli ubatan herba,dengan harapan atuk akan sembuh, kulihat mata atuk berair..atuk..menangis....kami biarkan sahaja..

kami x putus mendoakan agar atuk cepat sembuh..

di sini, kulihat ...

sayangnya anak kepada orang tuanya..

cinta seorang isteri kepada suaminya...

kasih seorang bapa kepada keluarganya..

When Both Fall... happened last Sunday..yeah..Sunday Morning(maroon5's song)
Woke up a bit late
cereal 4 breakfast.Atuk is going 4 a physiotheraphy..treating his leg(after fell from a drain at Pj's house)He seems to suffer a lot from it..yeah..he's overwork,
his strength level is just x at his age anymore..but still, he can do heavy work..
Ohh my mighty2 atuk:)
he x even walk..we're worried bout nenek to hang clothes at the ampaian..
she looked pale n weak..night b4,her eyes were watery..i could c it by looking into her eyes..mum n atuk had gone to specialist..later, nenek was totally weak..i was shocked and a bit panick..Luckily Uncle D came n brought her to da nearest clinic..dink donk dink donk, the result..her B.P shoot up to 240..even the dr was shocked to see da pressure..huuu..mum was back n she showed da same react.mum n uncle D went to nearest pharmachy to find her hypertension medicine, while me and aunt S looked after atuk..both made us worry ..
atuk was suffering from Degenerative Disc Stenosis, while nenek, hypertension(pray that she'll never get a stroke, amin)
After having meloxicam, atuk could relax but , he's x able to walk w/out help from sumone..nenek..her B.P was getting lower,alhamdulillah, but still i can sense worried from mama, uncle D and Aunt S.I really hope that atuk will get well soon though we know that it is permanent..impossible to cure it w/out surgery..

Stetoscope and Wave

After almost two sems..studying A-level for engineering..suddenly i lost my spirit on it.

Wonder why.? still have to figure it out..
Looking into da screen, wall, ceiling..then i saw stetoscope, blood, organs and white coat (in my mind)...realized that i am still interested in medical stuff..still watched House MD ,Grey Anatomy,Medical investigation n even reading medical books.Using scientific term in daily life, e.g: H2O, lumbar..etc..

Sumhow..i feel quite regret to choose the course that i'm in now though i can cope wit it n happy wit friends around me.I just love medic...but yeah, when i think of it from various perspective..i just x capable to b a good Dr..esp..when ur having sumkind of Parkinson's symptom since ur born..hahaha(laughing at myself)
Engineering..still in a blurr mood.It is fun ..i know that..but i must develope my interest into it learning the anatomy of da phone perhaps..investigate the symptoms of waves..

Still confused, either to go with da flow or switch into my beloved course.Dear God , please give me sum me the right way..Amen

The prologue for my 1st topic in my new blog..ahakz..

Hoping this dilemma will be gone A.S.A.P..